Shing’s 18th

Shin poop!

Shing, Ash, your mum

With my two Malaysian bebz!!!

This is Lakshani.

OMG quite funny actually, since my iPod Touch’s camera is like as shit quality as a China made pair of scissors, it was quite hard to capture her on cam LOLOL. The photo above was taken in the bathroom with super bright lighting. Let me show you what I mean… here are a series of pictures taken one after another, at different areas of the house.


Ok enough lolol there are 3-4 more but I shall spare you all!

Shing making his speech! CUTE! (hey look, you can see Lakshani here!!!)

Them two getting into a heated debate on who was more feminine. Jason won. (kidding)

My gross looking knotty hair which at that moment looked like synthetic extensions. I thought it fit the rocker image quite well!

So if you ever need me to scare your kids straight, call me at 1300 RAPE ME. That’s 1300 727 363.

*Correct me if I’m wrong – I don’t have a proper keypad! I have a qwerty keyboard.

Beauty and the Beast 😉
HAHAH wtf that was totally shameless.

The photos I edited on Meituxuxu or however you spell it, came out in different sizes :(. Also edited on Pixlr. Got lazy halfway hence the half-big half-average sized pictures!

Ok got very funny story to share!!!

So today I was in Melbourne Central after lunch and I remembered I needed to top up my Myki. After I did that and proceeded to the escalators in front of Coles, I felt a tap on my left arm and I was wondering to myself if I just imagined it or if someone was that oblivious to it’s surroundings that it bumped into me. To confirm this I turned around and to my amusement there wasn’t just ‘someone’ there – it was some totally awkward, short, curly haired man in his mid-late twenties. Why I find this amusing is because after I turned around, he just STARED. Literally. When I say literally, I am not exaggerating. So then I thought, “OH THIS BITCH WANNA HAVE A STARING COMPETITION, HUH? DIZ BITCH GOT IT (yes I turn into Nicki Minaj when I feel challenged). TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME.”

So I proceeded to stare back.

Actually, to clarify, this ‘staring only went on for about 5 seconds lolol BUT 5 SECONDS OF STARING AT A STRANGER IS SERIOUSLY LONG OK. Try staring at nothing for 5 seconds and pretending you are in the middle of a busy location. Good?? Good.

After these awkward 5 seconds… omg I cannot even comprehend this high level of lameness… it is off the scale. He asked, “have I met you before?” DAFUQ.

1) If you have met me before I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t ask that question. You would probably be asking “weren’t you at X’s last week” or something more REFINED than “have I met you before/have I seen you somewhere else before”. Please, that line is so 2005.

2) Omg, not trying to be a snob or anything but you were by yourself and wearing a big black coat, lurking around at the train station *attempting to* pick up chicks…

Here’s the conversation.
Myself, him.

“Have I met you before?”
“Oh. My name’s Abraham. Thought you were you know, pretty cute, so I just came to say Hi. What’s yours?”
“…Cool… it’s Li Ean.”
“Where are you going now?”
“About to head home.”
“Oh. I’m from Kuwait.”
“I’ve heard of that place, but I don’t exactly know where it is…”
“It’s a small but very rich country, we have lots of oil”
“……. Cool. Middle East?”
“Somewhere there. So what were you up to today?”
“Just chilling, had lunch. What about you? Waiting around in train stations trying to pick up chicks?”

“How many have you talked to today?”
“Well I don’t really keep count…”
“Oh? How’s your luck going?”
“I date lots of girls” WTF DIDN’T ANSWER MY QUESTION
“….at one time??”

“Well yeah, you gotta have back ups you know. What if it doesn’t work out between you and one of them, at least you have someone else to fall back on.”

At this point I was like WTF SCUMBAG STRANGER. Then I said, “welllll I better be off now!”

“What’s your number?”
“….How about you give me your number and I’ll text you?” (Never happened)
“Naww, girls who do that never reply.”
“We’ll see”
*gives phone number*
“Ok well see you round!”
“Do you have Facebook?”
“What is it?”
“If you find it, then you’ve got it.”

*runs away*
I told this to GK and she was all, “WTF WHY YOU CONVERSE WITH HIM”
Then I told her because I knew where it was heading but I wasn’t gonna give him anything, and I just wanted to waste his time.

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